Heart against a thorn

This morning my mom was reading to me from a devotional call Streams of in the Desert by L.B. Cowman. At the end the devotional for yesterday there was a poem that Mom and I really enjoyed (that's saying something coming from two people who don't really like poetry). Anyway, please take the time to read this as I think you'll find it a blessing.

Once I heard a song of sweetness

As it filled the morning air,

Sounding in its blest completeness

Like a tender, pleading prayer:

And I sought to find the singer,

Where the wondrous song was borne:

And I found a bird, quite wounded,

Pinned down by a cruel thorn.

I have seen a soul in sadness,

While its wings with pain were furled,

Giving hope, and sheer, and gladness,

That should bless a weeping world

And I know that life of sweetness,

Was of pain and sorrow borne,

And a stricken soul was singing,

With its heart against a thorn.

You are told of One who loved you,

Of a Saviour crucified,

You are told of nails that held Him,

And a spear that pierced His side;

You are told of cruel scourging,

Of a Savior hearing scorn,

And He died for your salvation,

With His brow against a thorn.

You "are not above the Master."

Will you breathe a sweet refrain?

And His grace will be sufficient,

When your heart is pierced with pain.

Will you live to bless His loved ones,

Though your life be bruised and torn,

Like the bird that sang so sweetly,

With its heart against a thorn?

Why are you trying to earn grace?

Recently there has been a song on the radio that I've really liked. I found that the words are really good and probably true of a lot of Christians including myself. I especially like the first 2 verses. Don't feel like you have to read words to the whole song but read the first 2 at least:

By Your Side

1st

Why are you striving these days

Why are you trying to earn grace

Why are you crying

Let me lift up your face

Just don't turn away

2nd

Why are you looking for love

Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough

To where will you go child

Tell me where will you run

To where will you run

And I'll be by your side

Wherever you fall

In the dead of night

Whenever you call

And please don't fight

These hands that are holding you

My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side

They swallowed the grave on that night

When I drank the world's sin

So I could carry you in

And give you life

I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you

I want you to know

That I, I love you

I'll never let you go

-Ten Avenue North

When will I stop crying and fighting in the arms of my Savior and be completely satisfied and say He is enough?

How I feel...

Today, is a day when I do not feel like this......

...or this...

...but no, I feel like this..

...and I'm acting like this...

...and if anyone gets too close I might become this...

I love pics.! They simply say too much so easily! So yeah, I wanted to post but I'm really not in a good enough mood to post about anything but how I feel. It's been long day and you better be grateful that you're not around me.

It's all about Jesus

A week or so ago I received a comment on my blog from an Anonymous reader. I've been wanting to reply to it but I haven't yet. So out of the fear that they wouldn't see my reply, if I just left a comment, I decided to post about it. If you didn't see it, this is what the comment said:

"I think what your doing is amazing. I wish God called me to do such work. Its odd but I sometimes wonder if God cares at all. Well, cares about me I mean. I just wonder why I can't be as happy as others that I see around me, but it comforts me knowing that he has chosen such a wonderful person like yourself to do great things. As long as others are happy, that is all that matters. God bless."

Wow, is the first thing I'm going to say. I'm going to write this to you whoever you are.

I would like to share with you something that God showed me before I arrived and while I was in Asia. First, He showed me that I shouldn't be comparing myself to others. Second, He showed me that the "success" of my trip didn't depend on what I did but that I did what God wanted me to do. Third, He showed me further what the second thing meant when I was in Thailand. While I was still here in America I was expecting to teach more English classes than I did when I was there. What we ended up doing much of my time there, which I wasn't expecting at all, was helping with the craft part of kids camps. As we were trying to come up with ideas for crafts, making examples, and doing more cutting out of craft supplies than I have ever done in my life I wondered what was the point. I mean I'm over here in Asia spending hours on crafts for kids which are most likely going to end up on the ground in pieces or in the garbage at some point in time. But God showed me something, He showed me that this is what He had for me to do. Even though it didn't make sense to me why I would come to Thailand to help with so many crafts God knew. It doesn't matter what He wants us to do. He doesn't measure greatness the same way we do. Remember Jesus and the little children? He saw things much differently than the 12, didn't He?

Jesus was showing me that my eyes were not to be on what I was doing or what great things or even what little things I was doing but my eyes were and are suppose to be on Him. It's not about making a name for Chrissy, or that people will be impressed with what she is doing, or that people will remember her when she dies, but that all she does brings glory and honor to the name of the Lord.

I remember, there was a time after I graduated from high school that I was really struggling. I was mad at God for not showing me what I was suppose to do. It was a time of testing my faith. I cried and prayed and told God what I was feeling like. It was tough but since then I have learned that I can trust my Lord. I've learned that He has called me to trust Him and walk one step at a time in what He wants for my life. Sometimes I know what He wants me to do 6 months into the future, other times not even 1 month. But I can trust Him. He is faithful.

Don't let Satan deceive you into thinking that God doesn't care. Sometimes, He allows us to go through the valley to draw us closer to Him. Sometimes we go our own way and find ourselves wanting to eat the food we're feeding to someone's pigs. But just like the prodigal son we can always come home again. At times it's hard to forgive myself I feel like God can't forgive me until I get myself back on the right track. This is so not true. Jesus' blood shed for me is the only reason I can even approach God the Father not because of Chrissy.

You also mentioned you don't know why can't you be happy like other people are happy. I want to remind you that happiness isn't lasting. Happiness is determined by our circumstances while the Lord's joy and peace only comes from Him. Someone can be hurting and going through something as hard as a loss of a child and still have God's peace and joy in their lives. Seek the things that are eternal not temporal.

I also want to encourage you to put your eyes on Jesus Christ and not other or yourself. If you're angry at God, tell Him. I've been there, I've done that, I'm sure I'll go though it again. One verse that I really like is the one about how we have a high priest who understands what we're going though because he has gone through it or something like that (that was way paraphrased). You see no matter what we're feeling or going through He understands and wants us to tell Him. Once you tell Him listen and look for His answers.

One more thing, remember that the grass always looks greener on the other side. What you are seeing on my posts are the highlights. Just because I travel to Asia and maybe you haven't traveled out of the country doesn't mean that what God is having me do is better than what He wants you to do. It's not at all. Ask Him and see that He is faithful. Seek Him and find that He cares for you. There is nothing in the world, not travel, success, money, or fame, that is better than a relationship with Jesus Christ! Everything else only brings temporary pleasure but will eventually become just like everything else. Look at Solomon's life, this man had everything anyone could ever want yet it came back to God for even him. There is nothing sweeter that knowing and drawing closer to our Lord. It's not about do's and don'ts it's about knowing Him and being known by Him!

Our packed weekend!

Okay as I promised, here is the post from our Thanksgiving and weekend. If I was to give an overall summery, I would have to say it was packed, fun, rewarding, and a great Thanksgiving weekend.

For Thanksgiving we went to my Aunt's and Uncle's home in Walker. My two cousins also came with their spouses and kids and my Grandma was there as well. The food was great and there was such a huge amount of desserts it was almost unbelievable. Let's see there was pumpkin pie, sweet potato pie, fudge, pumpkin bars, pumpkin roll, 2 kinds of turkey cookies....okay I have to stop now I'm starting to crave sweets......you get the idea.

Mom's sweet potato pie. It's a lot like pumpkin pie.

Mom and Grandma helping clean the dishes after our big meal.


Grandma sat outside and watch the rest of us play. My cousin Kathy wrapped her up in two special outdoor blankets so she was nice and warm even with the wind. We teased her that she looked like a little Bohemian woman and she was so cute I just had to take this shot.

It's tradition on this side of the family that we play a game of kickball. It's really a blast since most of us are pretty competitive. Yes, we play by farm rules.

On the way out we were taking our 4-wheelers with us when the tire on the wagon went flat. We had to leave it at someone house in the country. That night Dad and Andrew tried to change the tire on the way home but they couldn't get the bolts or whatever they're called off. Andrew and I ended up riding the 4-wheelers over to a friends house and leaving them there while Mom and Dad limped the wagon home. It was an adventure and fun to drive on the gravel roads at night and in the cold.

Friday morning we got up at 5:30 am so that we could be to our church at 6:30 to go to Oakville, IA where our church was doing an outreach. Oakville was flooded really bad this year and their little town still needs a lot of help. There were around 50 people who went down and helped Friday and Saturday.

This is a pic of Carolyn (a lady from our church who's home was also flooding this year), Tom our leader and missions staff at our church, and me. You may be asking what was with the white suits? Well, Carolyn and I were assigned to power wash the river dirt out of the inside of a house. Needless to say it was a very time consuming and dirty job but we also managed to have a blast as well.

At the very end, I plopped down on the floor and blew the back of my tyvek suit out! Oops! We had a good laugh over that one as well.

Sunday, after we got back from out full trip we slept in and went to second service. Since we hadn't gotten the Christmas decorations up yet, we decided to work on it. I think that we have most of them up but we're still not quit done.

Yes, we have an artificial tree, all you real tree people. I personally like this tree quite a bit and I'm partial to artificial since that's what I've grown up with. I really think there are a whole politics about whether to go artificial or real but I won't go into that now.

Here is my brother and father setting up our super easy, pre-lit, fold down branches, Christmas tree.

Mom and Andrew being goofy while I try and get a good pic of them.

I seemed to have the dropsy's yesterday and I managed to break two bulbs :( This pic. is after the first one. I wasn't too happy with myself after the second one.

So this is it. Now you have a taste of what my life has been like since Thanksgiving. I hope that yours was good and your weekend as well. Leave me your thought when you get a chance.